Life as an Actual Outlaw
by Void-san
Summary: Shilo is about to be plunged in a lot more trouble than he expected when he escapes the train to Yuma with Ben Wade. He soon discovers his search for his lost memories isn't what really matters in the life of an outlaw.
1. Chapter 1

**Void-san:** Yo! I'm back, again with a new story.{Again, I know.} Well anyways this is a Ben Wade fanfiction and I feel I should warn you now. It is maleXmale, so if that makes you uncomfortable, just stop reading please. Also this is my first maleXmale fanfiction, so please be merciful. This is after the movie.

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><p><strong>Disclaimer<strong>

I, Void-san, make absolutely nothing of this. Nor do I own any characters but the ones you don't recognize.

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><p><strong>Chapter One<strong>: Escape

Only a fool would even attempt to escape the train she and her partner were being put on. And while Arria Bluke was no fool, she'd rather die now than later. She was lovely, with brilliant brown-blue hazel eyes framed by long golden red hair and an expanse of smooth caramel colored skin. Arria knew she wouldn't last in prison, there was just no way. Unlike Shilo, she wasn't tiny enough to fit through the bars.

She glanced at Shilo, who looked at her with his large emerald green eyes. Silently she nodded, smiling softly. Shilo's eyes widened and he bit his lip before nodding slowly, an almost depressed air entering his demeanor.

Shilo was lifted almost in the train, getting jerked inside by the jailer, or the man who would act as jailer until they reached Yuma. Just as Arria was lined up behind him, held loosely, two things happened at once;

One; Shilo went still, almost as if he were dead, and the jailer scrambled to hold him up.

And two; Arria jerked herself away from her captor and raced toward the desert.

Shocked the jailer gaped at the woman, then jerked Shilo's limp body into the train, examining him frantically. Shilo's and Arria's former captor let out a string of hair-raising curses and spun around firing one time.

Arria Bluke was dead before she hit the ground.

"Israel Shilo's been awake since we got 'im, almost a week back. I reckon he jus' couldn't take no more excitement." The man stated, sliding the door shut with a soft squeal of wood against metal.

The jailer sighed and drug Shilo over to the cage, where one of the other criminals, an older man, gently tugged him through the door and drug him over to be propped up against the bench, next to a well-dressed man's feet.

The man rose an eyebrow at Shilo, before dismissing his presence.

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><p>Ben Wade woke as the train ground to a stop, they couldn't have been at Yuma yet, it was three days ride from Contention. Glancing out the window gave him a clear view of what was happening outside the train. Two prisoners, a beautiful woman and a wine red haired man, whose face was obviously silky smooth, he didn't have a beard, and hadn't grown one, not even peach fuzz. Strange, considering he looked about twenty at the least.<p>

Suddenly, the man went limp and Ben frowned, his pale blue eyes narrowed on the small frame, taking note that at the same time the woman fled. Within seconds a shot rang out, signaling the woman's death, and Ben's mouth twitched.

For just a moment, the redhead's face had been full of pain, his brow furrowed, his jaw clenched. Just enough to tell that not only did the man know his companion was dead, he regretted it, and to give away that the fainting spell was merely a good act.

The redhead's captor spoke and closed the door. The jailer gulped and dragged the still faking man to the cage, where one of the elderly men grabbed him and tugged him over to the bench, leaning him against it just beside his feet. Ben raised an eyebrow at this, but dismissed the smaller male as just that, **smaller**.

Come nightfall, he decided, he would leave.

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><p>Israel Shilo sighed gratefully as the last of the men, excluding the one he had somehow wound up slumping against. Shaking himself, Shilo decided he wouldn't be dozing off on a train again, instead of feeling at least a little more rested he felt worse, more tired than before. Glancing at the man, whose legs he slept on he found himself surprised and gazing into pale blue eyes, eyes that would probably turn a dark stormy blue when they were riled or excited. And those eyes were looking at him like a wolf would, wary of what Shilo could do, but confident he could handle it, sizing him up, like prey.<p>

Then something occurred to the emerald eyed male, he'd seen this man on a wanted poster before, wasn't he-

"Huh. You're Ben Wade, aren't you?" Shilo muttered, well aware the infamous outlaw had heard him. Suddenly, Shilo sprang, and reacting instinctively Ben lunged for the redhead.

However, for once, Ben moved too slow, Shilo slipped through the bars and shied from his reach like a headstrong horse. Having realized there was no intent to attack within Shilo, Ben pressed against the bars and watched him, his eyes unreadable and his posture relaxed. He knew how to handle a wild animal without touching it, but first, he smirked, to get the redhead to help him willingly.

Noticing the outlaw smirk, Shilo nervously shifted, but didn't move, he knew Ben couldn't reach him without a gun and that was on the table. This action only widened the smirk.

"What do you plan on doing? Hm?" Ben asked, tauntingly, watching Shilo's eyes flicker over to the keys on the table, then uncertainly back to him. "And then?" he murmured softly, pondering in amusement at what made it so easy to make a man obey your will, using the methods usually used to get a woman in bed. Then flash of dazed confusion confirmed what Ben had thought, and he sent Shilo a knowing look.

"Just get me those keys and I'll take care of the rest." He drawled smoothly. Shilo stiffened, balking at the sudden and all too appealing order. Ben just watched, remembering vividly that Charlie had once balked like this, all his men did. Finally, Shilo obeyed, undoing his own cuffs before handing them to Ben.

About five seconds later, the outlaw stood beside Shilo, towering a good two heads over him, and eagerly re-holstering his gun to its usual place.

"You seemed smaller in the cage." Shilo complained. Ben let out an unamused snort, and jerked the door open with a screech of wood and metal. Shilo cringed at the noise, giving the taller man a dirty look and furtively glancing at the still sleeping jailer.

"What is he, drunk?" he muttered, as Ben let out a whistle. Letting out a muffled yelp, the redhead sent Ben another look, this one fiercer and more angry. The only reaction it earned him was a soft snicker, and a lazy gesture towards outside. Scoffing, Shilo looked warily out the door, letting his breath out in a rush at the sight of an obediently running dark stallion. Staring slack jawed, he failed to feel the hand fist in the collar of his shirt, so when Ben leaped onto the horse, he was more than a little surprised to find himself drug along. Cursing, he jerked himself up behind the older outlaw, mentally thinking of the ways to slaughter him.

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><p><strong>Void-san: <strong>So there's the first chapter, I think I'll have another update for one of my other stories soon too. Anywho, whatcha think? Any good? For a first chapter?


	2. Chapter 2

**Void-san**: Here's the next chapter, folks. As a warning, Shilo's feeling kinda depressed in this chapter, Ben wade's horse is being called Dawson, and Ben is, well he's just Ben Wade the outlaw.

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><p><strong>Disclaimer<strong>

I, Void-san, make absolutely nothing off this. Nor do I own any characters but the ones you don't recognize.

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><p><strong>Chapter Two:<strong> What the Hell?

Shilo cursed to himself as the stallion calmly trotted through the night, toward whatever destination his master, an outlaw called Ben Wade, wanted. Thankfully, Shilo had shown remarkable riding skills, so, despite his drowsiness, there was little chance of him falling off, though he would have given anything to have his gray gelding back. Shilo had trained the gray to carry him safely even if he were sleeping. Unfortunately, the brilliant horse had been killed during their capture.

Ben turned the horse sharply, and said nothing as Shilo clung to him miserably, mumbling expletives in the older man's general direction. Suddenly, Ben slowed the horse to a stop and dismounted. Startled, Shilo slid right off the horse to land bonelessly on the ground with a pained grunt. The horse let out a loud snort and shied away from the dazed redhead. Irritated, Shilo glared at Ben, who simply rose one eyebrow in amusement, and stubbornly decided that first chance he got, he was going to find another mustang like his old gray, one he could train. His gray wouldn't have ever shied away when someone fell from his saddle, just snorted. Sulkily he struggled to find the energy to get onto his feet again.

"Get up, I've found our shelter for awhile at least." Ben Wade's order drifted hazily into his mind, and somehow he managed to stand, though he swayed slightly. Blank faced with exhaustion, Shilo's green eyes faintly drifted over the front of a ranch house, or the ruins of one at least. Yet Shilo saw no reason to abandon the ranch.

The ranch was squeezed between two hills, with a large hill in front, and was impossible to approach with out being seen, as there was naught but grass and a small stream of water winding past the right side of the house. A well worn, but sturdy horse barn stood wedged against the house, with two round paddocks, one large and meant for grazing, the other the perfect size for training. The house itself was single story small building, the left half had been burned down, while the other consisted of a single room, with a small fireplace and a bed that was in surprisingly good shape.

Puzzled, Shilo frowned, it wasn't possible to see into the room from the front of the house, where they had approached from. It was then he realized Ben had herded him towards the room, and hopefully sleep, so calmly that in his weary stupor, Shilo hadn't noticed. Blinking lethargically, he opened his mouth to speak, when a sharp nudge sent him face-first onto the left side of the bed, where he fell unconscious almost immediately.

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><p>Ben smirked in amusement at how dazed the redhead seemed, before tossing his hat on the bed and exiting calmly to take care of the stallion, Dawson. Dawson whickered happily as he was stripped down and turned loose in the smaller paddock. He smiled at the dark colored horse's joy in finally being free of bridal and saddle for the first time in several days.<p>

He turned to walk away when his eyes darkened in memory of pale hazel eyes, the eyes of a man he had most certainly wanted, but never had. Now he knew he never would, for that man was dead. Ben's heart felt strange, like a cruel weight had been shackled to him. His eyes strung, in a way he wasn't sure he liked, and he longed for something, **anything** to make silent the sound of a false foot hitting down beside a boot covered one. A sound a green eyed woman should have been allowed to hear again. Two young boys, one almost a man, should have been able to smile at their father again. But no one could, the rancher was dead. Because of his deep stupid stubbornness. Ben violently shuddered.

Angry, he stilled and became himself, striding slowly into the room, toeing off his boots beside the bed, and stared quietly at the redhead, marveling at how the small frame managed to fall into a boneless sprawl and take up more than half the bed. Luckily, Ben would have more than enough room to sleep undisturbed, and so he sank into the bed with a sigh of relief. His eyes closed, but were forced open by a sudden realization.

"What the hell is your damned name?" Ben asked, not even earning a sigh in response. Sighing, he shrugged and readjusted himself in the bed.

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><p>Shilo lazily pressed against the source of thick drowsy warmth, earning an exasperated sigh for for his efforts. Shocked, his eyes snapped open and he stared in horror at Ben Wade's neck, which he had his face nestled in. For a moment he felt peaceful, then realized just what it was he was feeling so peaceful about.<p>

Son of Bitch! What the hell're you doing? Get off!" he yelped struggling to escape upon realizing Ben had his arms wrapped firmly around his waist.

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><p><em>A young woman with brown-blue hazel eyes and golden red hair rode quietly over her father's ranch, her father several yards behind her. Suddenly, her horse let out a squeal of surprise and she spotted something down in the ravine, something covered in blood. Her heart turned cold, and she let out a yell and leaped off the mare and raced down into the ravine as quickly as she could.<em>

_ "Pa! Pa! I found somethin'! Pa!" she reached the source of the blood and rolled it over. It was a man, with bruises all over his face, and wounds everywhere she looked. His hair was sticky and rust brown with dried blood, as well as his skin. For a moment she thought he was dead, but his eyes opened partially revealing a brilliant emerald green, before closing. Her father reached them, as his eyes closed again._

_"He looks about twenty, maybe twenty one." Her father muttered, looking troubled. She gazed at him in awe, her pa could always guess a persons age, and he had only been wrong once, with her ma._

_"We gotta help him, pa. Who woulda hurt him?" she tugged at the injured man's limp hands. Her pa shrugged and lifted him from the ground easily, carrying him to the his gelding._

_"I'll take him on in to town to the doc. You git home and take care of your ma." Her pa ordered, just as a bullet ripped through his chest. Shocked, the woman let out a scream as her pa hit the ground dead, or close to it._

_Laughter rang out and she whimpered to herself as she turned to face the shooter. It was a blond haired man with brown eyes and a long beard. He grinned at her with rotted teeth and she cringed._

_"Well, young lady, I suppose I ought to shoot you too. It's what mister Hollander wants after all, you being on this side and them Evans folk on the other side been putting a damper on things for Mister Hollander, see. So's he hired me to get rid oh your ma and your pa. But ya see, I'm a merciful man, Your ma's dead, your pa's dead, and your house burned down. Now, you can stick around, and get killed, or you can take that feller into Bisbee an' wait till he's better to just vanish outta town. What's it gonna be?" The woman froze, then went over to the young man and heaved him onto her horse, before mounting behind him. _

_Slowly, she headed to Bisbee._

_Two Years later..._

_"We're a buncha thieves, ya know that?" she said, glancing over at the redhead happily sprawled over the bed. He simply grinned at her, his green eyes laughing._

_"Of coarse, and now we're about to be put on the train to Yuma for it, can't believe we got caught. And why are they so upset, I mean, they said it themselves, we ain't actual outlaws, just troublesome thieves." he replied, brightly. She shrugged, then looked uncertain._

_"Hey, Shilo? You remembered anything about yourself yet?" Shilo shook his head and before she could ask another question, their captor entered the room with a smirk._

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><p><strong>Void-san:<strong> so here it is folks_.  
><em>


	3. Chapter 3

**Void-san**: Here's the next chapter, folks. As a warning, Shilo's feeling kinda depressed in this chapter again, he's starting to realize that he really isn't going to just wake up and see Arria and it's not agreeing with him.

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><p><em>You've been rejected<em>

_And now you can't find_

_What you've left behind  
><em>

**"Nobody's Home" Sung By Avril Lavigne**

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><p><strong>Chapter Three:<strong> Begin To Remember

Ben groaned unhappily, whoever he had a hold on was writhing around wildly, cursing up words he would've flushed at had he not been determined to keep the person close as they were like a fireplace when it came to putting out warmth. So, without opening his blue green eyes, Ben tightened his grasp on the spitfire, earning a hiss of protest.

"You do know some of us intend to sleep, right?" He finally growled, in response the boy, who Ben's sleepy mind was beginning to realize it must be, renewed his struggles with a vigor that seemed shocking considering his small size, and how exhausted he'd been earlier. For a moment, Ben considered turning him loose, then narrowed his eyes, it got cold at night and he didn't plan on feeling the chill. He squeezed the redhead hard enough that he heard the breath leave him in a grunt of pain. Getting your ribs smushed tends to do that, Ben thought absentmindedly.

"Hold still, dammit. I'm tryin to sleep." Aside from a feeble squirm the boy fell still, though, Ben had no doubts that the green eyes were glaring viciously at him.

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><p>Shilo muttered soft curses at the outlaw, before going still, settling instead for glaring at what he was beginning to view as the bane for his existence. For a moment he was tempted to kick and struggle just to spite Ben, though he dismissed the thought, thinking of his still tingling ribs. The outlaw sighed as he drifted back to sleep and Shilo felt anger bubbling up inside him. What the hell was wrong with this man? Why was he even here?<p>

Gradually similar thoughts filled his mind and he fell into an infuriated sleep, his bows furrowed in a clear expression of extreme anger, a pout turning his lips.

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><p>When Ben woke the next morning he was startled to find the redhead asleep. The way he had fought before had made him sure that the man would be awake and fuming, from the soft scowl on his sleeping face, he was fuming, but not awake. He smirked, this had to be the first person he'd seen retain feelings of anger even in sleep.<p>

With a sigh, the outlaw released the thin body, allowing the redhead to sleep, he wasn't quite ready for another dose of the colorful language. He tugged hi boots on, holstered his gun and set a course for Dawson, who was pointedly ignoring him. Sighing he watched the stallion placidly graze, before turning around and walking over to his saddle, digging through its pack to find several bit of dried jerky.

A few minutes later, Ben jumped at the sound of cursing, something about someone's mother and twisted entrails. He watched as a fully dressed pissed off man appeared, eyes flashing and looking like he wanted to put his fist through the nearest face. He also had a glazed look, Ben thought to himself, like he was a hibernating animal that wasn't fully awake yet, but was still livid about it. Realizing that the man probably wasn't safe to be around, the dark haired man watched the other closely, eyes narrowed for any sign of aggression. There was none. Just a **thump!** as the fairer skinned of the two sat suddenly on the ground, gazing in Dawson's general direction with glassy eyes.

Ben snorted back a laugh, if the younger was still stewing over last night like he thought he was, well...he heard a saying about redheads, something about why it was best to avoid them when they weren't pleased with you. The outlaw had seen it proved many times over, and didn't want to know if it applied to men as well as women.

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><p>Shilo blinked at the horse, not entirely sure what to make of his situation. Arria was de-gone, and wasn't going to come back. He was sitting not too far away from a man he knew as Ben Wade, a rather notorious outlaw. The man had escaped Yuma before, so he was smart. The thing about smart people, Shilo thought, is...<p>

"They always have a motive, no matter how small." He muttered to himself, narrowing his emerald gaze on the stallion's glossy black hide. As if sensing his stare, the horse lifted his head and gave him an equally disgruntled expression, before returning to the winter-chilled grass. Shilo sighed, letting his eyes fall completely shut, not feeling much reason to move or do much of anything at the moment. Sleepy, his mind honestly stood no chance against the onslaught of memories he **had**.

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><p><em>Shilo's eyes were fixed on the men at the bar, his targets to be exact. Beside him, Arria shivered from the stress of hunger and cold. Ever since he had woken a week ago, he had been stealing food and water here and there. But it wasn't enough to keep Arria healthy, so now, Shilo's target didn't have food or water, but money. <em>

_Quietly, he crept closer to the bar, tugging his companion with him. He didn't move towards the man, until he was so filled with drink he couldn't hardly stand and ,much to Shilo and Arria's luck, staggered directly into Shilo. He yelped and hopped away from the drunkard, sliding several coins in his own pockets as he did. Jerking Arria along, Shilo shot out the door, leaving his victim behind to discover his missing money at a later point.  
><em>

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><p><strong>Void-san:<strong> so here it is folks_.  
><em>Although it might qualify as a filler, I'm not sure.


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